DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need to calm my uterus...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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