Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
