so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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