It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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