So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
