Don't you send me to vm
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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