I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
