I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
