I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
