Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
