i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there is puke in my bra ... again
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
