Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
