Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
