So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
