Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
