Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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