you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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