Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
