I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
