Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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