Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
