What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
