I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize