Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
