I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
