SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
