I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your penis caused this!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
