Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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