we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
