I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he had hair everywhere except his balls
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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