Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
