It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
