U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
