he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
