you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
