You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
