i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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