i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
