I just made out with a guy for $7.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
