we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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