He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
