I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
