it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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