All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
