If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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