So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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