I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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