So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
