just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
