Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
